So I accidentally masturbated with my GF's self-tanner

HarryCaray · Jul 30, 2006

Yep, you heard it. Looks just like regular lotion goddamnit. Come to find out it is a self-tanning lotion, it's supposed to "gently bronze" your skin.

Unfortunately one of my hands and my dong are now tinted to a shameful orange hue. Fuck.

The funniest part of the story is my GF saw my hand today and said "you beat off with my tanning lotion, didn't you." All I could do was pause for a few seconds, look at the floor sheepishly, and say......... "Yeah."

:realtongu

SkinsRaj28 · Jul 30, 2006

Why jerk off when your girlfriend's mouth is available? I'm confused.

And if your excuse is she wasn't willing to eat your cock at that exact moment, you should've dumped her right then and there. End of story.

HarryCaray · Jul 30, 2006

SkinsRaj28 said:
Why jerk off when your girlfriend's mouth is available? I'm confused.

And if your excuse is she wasn't willing to eat your cock at that exact moment, you should've dumped her right then and there. End of story.

She was not home dude. This was yesterday. She noticed the evidence (i.e. my orange hand) today.

Journeyman · Jul 30, 2006

not a pretty sight

SkinsRaj28 · Jul 30, 2006

I suppose that is an acceptable reason.

You should still punch her a few times just for the hell of it...how dare she not be in the house when you were horny. Fuckin cunt.

HarryCaray · Jul 30, 2006

Journeyman said:

Yep, that looks about right! :smoker2:

HarryCaray · Jul 30, 2006

SkinsRaj28 said:
You should still punch her a few times just for the hell of it

Done and done. :toast:

guitarjosh · Jul 30, 2006

ucking:

FalseDmitri · Jul 30, 2006

this is freaking hilarious! at least she was cool about it.

JacobimMugatu · Jul 31, 2006

i call bs on this story

HarryCaray · Jul 31, 2006

Jacobim Mugatu said:
i call bs on this story

You have the right to believe or disbelieve whatever you want my friend.

HarryCaray · Jul 31, 2006

Jacobim Mugatu said:
i call bs on this story

Just for you...here is a pic of my hand, against my calf. I am a pasty white mofo as you can see by the calf.

quantumleap · Jul 31, 2006

There has to be some chemical that you can use to remove it. Maybe acetone or something. Maybe I'll do a google on it.

quantumleap · Jul 31, 2006

quantumleap said:
There has to be some chemical that you can use to remove it. Maybe acetone or something. Maybe I'll do a google on it.

Here you go:

http://www.consumersearch.com/www/family/sunless-tanning/fullstory.html

<TABLE cellSpacing=1 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=fsbar>Alternative Considerations </TD></TR><TR><TD class=fssection>If you decide you can't wait for a sunless tan to fade on its own, reviewers recommend using St. Tropez Tanning Essentials Self Tan Remover (*est. $15) to remove color. You can also use this to clean your hands after application.
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Journeyman · Jul 31, 2006

get some sun Harry...holy hell it's freaking July 31st.

Journeyman · Jul 31, 2006

Just reminded me of the time I used a bronzer on my face, this was many years ago...I looked like Al Jolson after I was done...

I must have used 1/3 of the tube,lol..

Arodd · Jul 31, 2006

Journeyman said:
get some sun Harry...holy hell it's freaking July 31st.

amen. you sexy pale motherfucker you

ClipJoint · Jul 31, 2006

HarryCaray said:
Just for you...here is a pic of my hand, against my calf. I am a pasty white mofo as you can see by the calf.

Fuck that shit...this is the rubber room. Show us your dick.

The_Man · Jul 31, 2006

Clip Joint said:
Fuck that shit...this is the rubber room. Show us your dick.

:monsters-

HarryCaray · Jul 31, 2006

Journeyman said:
get some sun Harry...holy hell it's freaking July 31st.

It's been like 100+ degrees here for 42 straight days (it seems). I'd rather be pale than dead of heat stroke.
Also, I don't even tan, my pale ass burns, peels, and then I'm pale again.

Let me also note that the picture I posted does no justice to the ridiculous orangeness of my hand. I am at work today, walkin' around with my hands in my pockets LOL.